Readers, I am stressed. Incredibly so. So much in fact, that I began to have a nervous breakdown during a Greek test the other day. As you can imagine, this was a problem.
So what did I do? I “finished” the test, left the building, called Mike, and decided that I needed a break between now and the quarter in which I begin my life as a sane person who doesn’t have to become fluent in Ancient Greek. I dropped to half time student status, ate a giant veggie burger, and resigned myself to spending the next month being, essentially, a stay at home mom. It has been one day. I have no idea what to do with myself.
So far, I took Ollie to preschool, let Mike sleep in, ate a super healthy breakfast (homemade granola and green smoothie? Yes please!) and got coffee. I may run later. I don’t know.
What am I supposed to do?
I have no idea what to do with free time! This is the most foreign concept I’ve ever experienced. Since the day Olive has been born my life has been a horrifying mix of either full time employment or the high end of part time employment with full time studies and whatever musical obligations I had, motherhood of course being compulsory. During the summer I would use whatever brief reprieve I had to garden. During Christmas, I would have to work my hook in a frenzy to get gifts done.
Readers, it is the dead of winter (if you can call it winter this year) and I have no gifts to make. The only birthday coming up is mine and I will be…in my mid twenties. I uncluttered my life and removed the stress and now I’m bored. And broke. And bored.
Perhaps, the problem isn’t that I don’t have anything to do, but more that I don’t know how to not do anything. I haven’t learned how to relax or enjoy free time. Instead, I’ve focused on filling every moment I can with a constant stream of work or stimuli. This can’t possibly be healthy and I can’t possibly be alone. These days it feels like everyone is so overworked that once they aren’t they can’t figure out what they want to do and end up mindlessly surfing the internet. Before they know it, it’s five hours later and they’ve mastered Zuma and are purchasing the expansion. Not that that’s ever happened to me…
So you know what? I’m going to focus on the things I really enjoy. I’m going to write more, crochet, and sew. I’m going to take Olive to the indoor playground at the mall on rainy days and the park on the days when it’s nice outside (which are the days between snow fall. This winter has been just absolutely stupid). I am going to invent more recipes to share with you and I am going to READ A BOOK. FINALLY. And sometimes, I am going to do absolutely nothing.
And I really think you should, too. Let’s start a revolution guys. Take a break, even if it’s only an hour, and instead of playing zuma the whole time in your sweats, try taking a bath. Sometimes, nothing important needs to happen at all.